Last Glance
by Kandakicksass
Summary: Post-movieverse. Loki watches Tony from afar, taking one last glance at the man he loved. He knew it wouldn't last forever - he just hadn't expected to care. Angst.


Loki stood in the cold on the top one of New York's many buildings, his long hair whipping around him. He must have looked odd, standing there like a statue while the October wind chilled him, but he didn't feel it. His gaze was focused and his thoughts were occupied.

Emerald eyes, darker for the rings around them, stared unwaveringly at the red-and-golden form a mile away. He watched as the familiar metal-cased body was thrown into the side of a Starbucks. He didn't even wince, just watched with a dead sort of fascination, knowing very well Iron Man was fine. He closed his eyes. He didn't need to watch – he knew what would happen. It was a simple battle, a simple villain. He managed a brief smile; the Avengers would never face an opponent like him again. There was no need for him to step in – a good thing, since that would be difficult to explain.

He watched as Iron Man got to his feet again, probably giving the world's most petulant look at his assailant. _That wasn't nice._ He squeezed his eyes just a tad tighter. He could still hear his voice in his head, clear as day, damn him.

He felt very cold as the thought crossed his mind and it wasn't from the temperature. Thinking about him wouldn't help anything, but he couldn't stop. Not on his life.

"_Loki." His voice was firm. "Loki, come here."_

"_I don't take orders from you, Stark."_

"_Well, maybe you should." Warm lips, chapped but still gentle, met his and he couldn't help leaning into the touch, to the arms that quickly wound around him. "Obstinate man."_

"_God," Loki corrected, almost inaudible. Even if Stark couldn't hear him, he still felt Loki's lips move and he chuckled. "_Tony_…"_

"_That's right, baby. Say my name."_

"_Shut up."_

He would never hear Tony laugh again, he thought to himself. He felt hollow, so horribly empty. Was a god supposed to feel like this – so _human_? He was the god of mischief – and it meant absolutely nothing. He pulled magic around him, proving to himself that he suddenly wasn't mortal. He felt it throb in agony. He wondered for a moment, briefly, if his magic was feeling the withdrawal as sharply as he was.

Loki was alone and Tony was elsewhere. He would grow old – perhaps – and die like every other human. He would move on, he would forget, and he would find someone more suited to him. Truthfully, he doubted that was true. No one would be able to complete Tony like Loki did, and vice versa.

Loki did not like to show weakness. That was why he hadn't explained to Tony why they couldn't be together. He hadn't explained the dangers, hadn't explained his worries. He couldn't tell Tony that he was so _fucking _terrified that something would happen. Trouble was drawn to Loki, and Loki was drawn to Tony. It was a cycle he could not allow to continue. He'd almost killed Tony just by being around him and that was something he couldn't let happen again.

"_The _fuck_, Loki! What were you doing? I thought –"_

"_What did you think, Stark? That I was suddenly one of you, one of the 'good guys?' Did you forget who I am?" His voice was cold and didn't tremble, though his hands were shaking slightly._

_Tony was quiet for a moment, his expression so somber that it broke Loki's heart, or what he had of one. "Don't you call me that. Don't distance yourself like you're suddenly that asshole again. I want you to explain to me why you blew up a supermarket with civilians left and right!"_

"_Because I wanted to, Stark. Because that's what I do – I don't care about your silly little race, you know. You make the mistake in thinking I'm a different person. I'm still-"_

"_A big, bad wolf of a god, yes, Loki, I fucking realize that. You won't let me forget it."_

_Loki had his own moment of silence. "Perhaps it is time I allow you to."_

"_What do you mean by that?"_

"_I mean that I don't belong here, Stark. I'm not happy." The words were odd on his tongue – when before did his happiness matter? He just did what he wanted without care of reprimand, whatever amused him._

"_Get out."_

_Loki's eyebrow rose, though he felt his chest tighten. "Excuse me?" Yes, this was what he wanted… so why was his heart breaking at the thought of leaving? He had to stop using expressions like that, he reminded himself, and straightened his posture so subtly that Tony didn't notice. This was pathetic – he was pathetic. He had to straighten this whole thing out, remind himself of both who and what he was._

"_Get out, Loki. Get out and don't come back." Tony was angry, that was good. He didn't mean it, but he would. "God, you don't even care! You killed people, Loki, children! Two children, a teenager, and three adults. Eleven other people are injured, and you don't care!"_

_Without a word, he nodded and turned, stepping toward the door._

"_Loki!"_

_He turned his head. His voice was soft when he spoke. "I thought you wanted me to leave, Stark." TonyTonyTony, he chanted inwardly._

_Tony bit his lip, then shook his head and his expression hardened. "Go."_

_Swallowing, feeling sick, Loki just turned and strode toward the door. He didn't glance back. He couldn't._

He cocked his head to the side, peering down into the city as Tony finished his battle. He couldn't remember ever actually saying he loved him aloud, but perhaps it was time he did. "I love you." His tone was bland, but the words were honest. Strange. He'd never thought it possible, but they were. He allowed himself a bitter half-smile. Tony would never hear them.

Just before he turned to go, he paused and glanced back down at the man he loved. As he watched, the superhero's head turned, peering up at him. Of course Tony would catch him – whether he recognized him from so far up or not. With his hair, reaching to his mid-back and let loose, he could easily be mistaken at the distance for a woman, an admirer, perhaps.

"I love you," he said again.

Tony seemed to twitch, but Loki didn't stick around to watch. He turned, and walked away.


End file.
